Titilade Ilesanmi: As a Mum, If I Wanted to Feel Like Myself Again, This Is Where I Would Start
Mum, have you ever stood in front of your wardrobe and thought, “This doesn’t feel like me anymore”? Not because the clothes are bad, but because, somewhere between showing up for everyone else, you’ve changed, and your wardrobe hasn’t kept up with you. I’ve experienced that feeling more than once. Different seasons of my life […] The post Titilade Ilesanmi: As a Mum, If I Wanted to Feel Like Myself Again, This Is Where I Would Start appeared first on BellaNaija - Showcasing Africa to the world. Read today!.
Black News 
Mum, have you ever stood in front of your wardrobe and thought, “This doesn’t feel like me anymore”? Not because the clothes are bad, but because, somewhere between showing up for everyone else, you’ve changed, and your wardrobe hasn’t kept up with you.
I’ve experienced that feeling more than once. Different seasons of my life require different versions of me, and each time, I’ve had to intentionally realign how I present myself, even in something as simple as my clothing.
The truth is, wanting to look better isn’t just about vanity. Sometimes, it’s about identity and growth. It’s recognising that you’ve evolved and allowing your appearance to reflect that. So, if I ever find myself in that situation again, wanting to feel like myself once more, here are five things I would do:
I would clear out what no longer feels like me
The first thing I would do is go through my wardrobe and remove everything I haven’t worn in a while. This isn’t about sentimentality or thinking “maybe one day.” It’s about being honest with myself. Often, we don’t realise how much of our past we hold onto until we see it hanging in our wardrobe. Some pieces represent who we used to be, how we used to think, or even eras we’ve outgrown. Letting go of these items brings a quiet freedom. You create space not just physically, but also mentally—for the woman you are becoming.
I would get clear on the kind of style that inspires me
Next, I would define my personal style and identify the influences that appeal to me. This step provides direction because, without clarity, it’s easy to keep buying clothes and still feel like nothing fits well. However, when you understand what draws you in, you can begin to dress with intention rather than confusion. Over time, that inspiration can evolve into your own unique style.
I would create a simple, intentional shopping list
Instead of making random purchases, I would write down the pieces I actually need, rather than buying everything at once. There’s no pressure—just clarity. This way, when it’s time to shop or when someone asks what I’d like, I won’t be guessing. I’ll know exactly what items would elevate my wardrobe. Style becomes easier when your choices are intentional.
I would create a small “style fund” for myself
This is something I’ve found to be very important. I would set aside a little money consistently just for my shopping. It doesn’t have to be a lot. But it changes your mindset. You’re no longer feeling guilty for wanting to look good. You’re not pulling from what was meant for something else. You’re intentionally investing in yourself. And that, in itself, builds confidence.
I would start showing up and documenting the new me.
I would then begin taking pictures of myself to see myself in a different light. There’s something powerful about capturing your growth and recognising the woman you are becoming. It reinforces confidence. If I choose to share those images, that’s even better. Sometimes, showing up differently is a declaration: this is who I am now. At the core of all this is confidence,
Mum, looking stylish isn’t just about the clothes you wear; it’s about your identity. It’s about how you see yourself and how you choose to present that image to the world. As a mum, it’s easy to put yourself last on the list of priorities. However, when you start to feel good about yourself, it positively impacts every aspect of your life—how you communicate, how you carry yourself, and even how you show up for the people you love. You don’t need to transform into someone else; you simply need to permit yourself to reflect on who you’re becoming. Sometimes, this journey begins with something as simple and powerful as your wardrobe.
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Featured Image by Cotton Bro for Pexels.
The post Titilade Ilesanmi: As a Mum, If I Wanted to Feel Like Myself Again, This Is Where I Would Start appeared first on BellaNaija - Showcasing Africa to the world. Read today!.
