It’s time to remove ‘Black fatherhood’ from the ‘endangered species’ list!

It was truly gratifying to see so many Black fathers heading tables at our favorite Sunday brunch restaurant on Milwaukee’s far northwest side. 

We had a 30-minute wait, and while sitting in our SUV parked directly in front of the establishment, saw dozens of couples and scores of children escorting their ‘fathers’ into the restaurant. 

The restaurant is normally full of churchgoers during the ‘brunch’ hours, but Sunday was an exception, with families and wives taking their favorite father out to eat. 

(I could tell the women were treating their husbands (fathers) to brunch, because they paid for the meal.) 

As my wife noticed that many of the women were dressed inappropriately (obvious g-strings, or panty outlines), I focused on the fact that her observation might have implied the brothers were in store for ‘dessert’ when they got home. 

In another world (in an alternate universe), seeing so many fathers honored on Father’s Day may seem like a normal occurrence, but that’s not the case in the Black community anymore. 

Even in zip code 53209, once considered ‘Blackfish Bay’ and the gateway to middle-class Black Milwaukee, in far too many cases, the celebratory card today might read, ‘Happy Father’s Day, Mom.’ 

Sadly, over 70% of Black families today are headed by a woman, a majority of whom are poor and struggling without the physical or financial support from the ‘baby daddy’—a term many naïve sisters believe is a statement of ownership, but is in actuality, an offensive term by most measures. 

Our children need full-time fathers, not part-time ‘sperm donors’ or sexual exploiters. 

And sisters need to consider the long-term struggles that come from dropping loads with two or three men, the overwhelming majority of whom are male ‘THOTs’, ‘doggy-dog dogs,’ or ‘man-children’ who think with a ‘small head.’ 

The dilemma of the disappearing Black nuclear family (with or without marriage) is worthy of a comprehensive study by the Medical College of Wisconsin, researchers from HBCU’s, or maybe the MTEA (since its members will pay the price). 

The study would focus on the harm caused by absentee fathers and how it manifests in poverty rates, school performance, and the prison population. 

I’ve seen it too often; children with mental health problems because some sperm donor ignores their child’s plea for direction, support, and love. 

I won’t go into all the stats about the outcome of far too many children brought up in single-parent households where the ‘baby daddy’ is AWOL, or worse. 

You need but look at what students comprise the discipline problems in our local schools, or gang membership, or the perpetuation of the Culture of Poverty. 

It’s worse for children whose siblings have different fathers; playing the dozens in those circumstances takes on a more personal meaning. 

Obviously, I’m painting with a broad brush. But that is not the intent. There are plenty of good ‘daddies’ out there, whether married (the optimum situation), or as an outsider. 

Remember, Barack Obama was raised by a single mother, as was Jesse Jackson, and, locally, Howard Fuller, who epitomizes greatness and is the penultimate Black Milwaukee leader. 

But far too many fall in the category of sperm donors, uncaring, parental neophytes who contribute nothing more than a pair of tennis shoes and false promises. 

I was one of several local activists who paved the way for the fatherhood initiative, an excellent program that addresses my concerns and helps resolve child support payments. 

But the program’s reach is far from adequate to address the cultural tsunami that has all but destroyed our (nuclear) family paradigm. 

I’m trying hard not to generalize, but far too many children of ‘Neckbones’ are victims of a cultural cancer that is eating away at the fabric of our community; a paradigm where marriage is on the endangered species list. 

That’s why it was so gratifying to see fathers with sons and daughters at the restaurant on Sunday (many, not by coincidence, having left church). 

One brother in particular caught my eye as he was proudly wearing a t-shirt thatread, “Black Fathers Matter.”On the back of the shirt was aBlack Power Fist. 

The t-shirt spoke volumes tome, succinctly revealing thesolution to the problem undermining our quest for empowerment and growth.—Hotep.