All Black Women think the same right ? Recapping with Sahar Taylor, who explains some of their sexual intricacies.

Monogamy is no longer a de facto choice for women. For too long, women believed that if they weren’t monogamous in their relationships with men, then love and marriage weren’t possible. That is no longer true in 2025. Today, a woman can choose to be sexually and emotionally free from the patriarchal bondage cast by a man’s perceptions about how she should behave, think and feel. Although she does risk losing prospective mates by freeing herself, some men appreciate a woman who understands the value of being non-monogamous and open to the endless emotional and sexual possibilities that exist in consensually non-monogamous relationships. 

Recent studies have shown that almost 5% of relationships are consensual, and more than 20% of people have been in a poly relationship at some point in their lives. Although this is an upward trending movement, it’s on a slow crawl as most women rarely reveal their desire to be non-monogamous to their partners. 

Most men believe that women are biologically tied to monogamy and are intolerant of sharing their women with others. So in a society where men decide whether or not a relationship and/or marriage exists, women are not likely to reveal their desire to have a CNM relationship out of fear of not being chosen. Ironically, while on a book tour for my recently released Let Me F*ck Your Husband: Healing Black Relationships Through Consensual Non-monogamy, the women repeatedly said the same thing; they have the desires to have threesomes, participate in orgies, but refuse to expose themselves because of the potential backlash from their partners. Until recent years, a woman would never openly say she enjoyed sex with two men at the same time unless she was in the adult film industry. 

Even now, it’s considered a faux pa for a woman to mention her desire to have sex with multiple men, but many women are now emboldened enough to express this desire anyway. In the past, the beautiful and super sexy actress AJ Johnson described a sexual experience that involved two men. In an interview on Angela Ye’s Lip Service, AJ described the situation as the best sexual experience of her life. Of course, the public went wild with their high-brow judgments and name-calling, saying she liked to have trains run on her. But AJ didn’t really care. She stood her ground and said if they wanted to call her experience a train, “then choo-choo!” I absolutely loved it! As a Black woman who also enjoys sex with multiple men and women, it’s refreshing to hear other Black women openly express how so many of us feel but may not have the audacity to say aloud. AJ may not have realized it, but she empowered so many women in that moment. As a celebrity, she breathed life into the idea that a woman can be beautiful, intelligent and successful while also being bold, sexual and free. In my book F*UCK Monogamy: Sexual Freedom is the New Normal, I seek to empower women to embrace their true sexuality, no matter what it is, to ultimately achieve sexual and emotional freedom. We can no longer give men or society the power to dictate what’s right for us. We are entering a new era. One where women have a voice and the capability to control the type of relationships we’re involved in. 

The LBGTQ+ community has been making great strides in normalizing its culture. Acknowledgment and respect are given to same-sex, transgender and queer lifestyle, marriages and relationships. However, cisgender women continue to be held to the standards of old where she must find a husband and belong to him always. This has led to women feeling insecure, unloved and minimized as men continue to find ways to secretly and sometimes openly satisfy their sexual proclivities without their partner’s consent. Many men know how unhappy or unsatisfied their women may be, yet they will not settle with the idea of sharing her with others. We no longer have to accept this. We no longer have to accept this. I challenge every woman to understand what is truly in her heart and embrace the so-called slut, ho, sexual deviant… whatever name she chooses to describe her inner sexual being and set her free.