‘I Remember When We Were Introducing Ourselves, it Was Like the World Stopped’
By Mia Watkins | For The Birmingham Times Jalentha &d James Cole Live: Pelham, Alabama Married: July 17, 2010 Met: James Cole remembers the exact moment he saw his wife, Jalentha, for the first time on the campus of the University of Central Arkansas on September 13, 2005. “I saw her in the student center, […]
Black News 
By Mia Watkins | For The Birmingham Times
Jalentha &d James Cole
Live: Pelham, Alabama
Married: July 17, 2010
Met: James Cole remembers the exact moment he saw his wife, Jalentha, for the first time on the campus of the University of Central Arkansas on September 13, 2005.
“I saw her in the student center, and it just so happened to be her birthday,” he said. “I saw her showing her shoes to one of her friends. One of her friends asked her about some shoes she had on. I remember she had on a white shirt, some jeans, some gold shoes and some shades on top of her head. I was like, “I don’t think I’ve seen her before. She’s beautiful.’”
He was there with his Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Inc. brother, passing out roses to girls on campus during Kappa week. He wanted to introduce himself to Jalentha, but there was one problem: He had to leave for class.
“I told him, ‘Hey, look, I gotta go to class, I’m running late. I need you to do this for me: Go give her this rose, tell her it was me that gave it to her. I would have given it to her myself, but I’m running late for class,’” he said. “‘I need to meet her on Thursday. I would like to meet her because I think she’s beautiful.’” I went off to class.”
Little did he know that Jalentha had her eyes on him, despite her having a boyfriend at the time.
“I didn’t want to go to the student center, but my friends were encouraging me to go,” she said. “I got dressed and got really cute. I made it to the student center, and I’m talking to my friends. I remember when we first walked into the student center, we saw the Kappas handing out roses.”
She said she and her friend devised a plan to get a rose but ran into the Kappas who were standing near the restroom, including James.
“I saw James, but by the time I made it there, he wasn’t there anymore,” she remembered. “We were just walking to get our roses, and we were stopped by a guy who was like, ‘Hey, can I talk to you for a second? My frat brother thinks you’re beautiful, and he would like to meet you in the student center.’ I asked which one. He said, ‘the light skinned one.’ I said, ‘The one with the sideburns?’
“I’d been eyeing James,” Jalentha said. “I’d been watching James, but I didn’t make any moves because I don’t do that.”
They met a couple of days later.
It turns out she wasn’t as stealthy as she thought she was. She caught the shuttle to the center for the meetup, unknowingly with James’ younger brother.
“As we were approaching, I got nervous,” she said. “I had a boyfriend, but he was no good. He was not the right guy, and I knew it. As we were approaching the student center, I saw James. He had on a blue double-breasted suit. I was like, ‘Oh my God, I was so nervous.’ [James’ brother] heard the conversation about me being nervous.’
The moment ended up being surreal.
“I remember when we were introducing ourselves, it was like the world stopped,” she said. ‘When I tell you, everybody stopped what they were doing and were watching us like a TV show.”
Because Jalentha had a boyfriend, she gave James her landline number but told him she was going out of town. James forgot and gave her a call. When she didn’t call back, he was ready to chalk it up as a loss until he called one more time.
After that, they began talking and hanging out. A couple of weeks later, she broke up with her boyfriend. James said her initially being in a relationship didn’t bother him because he didn’t believe the boyfriend existed.
“I don’t mean to be arrogant when I say this, I didn’t care whether or not she had a boyfriend or not,” he said. “I saw her and I wanted her. I was going to work to get her; that’s how bad I wanted her. It is what it is.”
He didn’t have to work hard,” Jalentha said with a laugh.
First date: Their first official date was putt-putt golf.
“I beat him bad,” Jalentha said. “I talked so much smack, and he couldn’t believe it. I thought he was letting me win. He was just that bad that night.”
Then, they went back to her apartment to watch movies.
Jalentha said she knew something was different about James from their first phone conversation.
“We stayed on the phone for hours,” she said. “We talked about everything. Like I said, I had a boyfriend before, and I knew what wasn’t working. James was the complete opposite of that guy. He swept me off my feet just through a phone conversation.”
The turn: James said he knew Jalentha was the one for him when she didn’t judge him for his tastes.
“She’s just somebody you can let your hair down with,” he said. “One quirky thing about me is, at that young age, I liked old school music. That’s playing in my car, and she’s not judging me. It’s just one of those things where you could just be yourself with someone.
Jalentha said the two got serious quickly. She met his parents during homecoming within two months. James said that he knew she was different because of his father’s response to her.
“I think prior to Jalentha, there may have been two or three girlfriends that visited my family,” he said. “My father would usually meet them and go right back into the bedroom to watch TV. With Jalentha, the one thing I noticed was that he actually sat down and had a conversation with her to get to know her. Game recognize game, that’s who I need to be with.”
Jalentha, for her part, couldn’t stop saying, ‘I love James’ to all of her family and friends.
“He’s a straight up and down guy,” she said about her husband. “I’m outgoing. He came into my life, and I needed him. He gave me so much structure. I remember when we first started dating, he asked about my grades. To this day, he makes sure that I’m in order.”
The proposal: The two had dated for years before James proposed, mainly to allow Jalentha to graduate from college first. Their loved ones expected a proposal every time a holiday rolled around.
“I was just like, let me do it on my terms,” James said.
Instead, he proposed on his birthday, June 8.
“I made my day her day,” he said.
He’d told her that he was going to visit his mother for his birthday. After his trip and coming back from the gym, she was making him food. When he came back home, he dropped down on one knee in the living room.
“I remember sitting on the couch, and I think time slowed down for me again,” Jalentha said. “I remember him sliding into the living room on one knee. That’s when he asked me to be his wife. I was shocked because it was his birthday.”
The wedding: The two are from different parts of Arkansas, so they had their wedding in the middle of the state, in Little Rock at Chenal Church of Christ. Reverend H. Earl Anderson officiated, and their colors were eggplant and silver
Jalentha said she remembers getting emotional upon hearing the Kenny G. song as she walked down the aisle.
“I remember being there with my dad and waiting for them to open the doors,” she said. “I was like,’ I don’t want to cry.’ He told me it was OK to cry. When I tell you, they cracked that door, and that saxophone was going and I saw James, I cried the entire ceremony. I had tissues stuffed in my sweetheart neckline.
James remembers trying not to get emotional in front of his family and frat brothers.
“I started to have a little mind shift,” he said. “I started to think about football to keep me from crying. I did not want to display those emotions in front of everybody like that. I wanted to keep it together.”
The honeymoon: The two went to the Sandals resort in Nassau, Bahamas. It was the first time the two traveled out of the country together.
“That was one of the best trips ever,” she said. “James did a skit while we were there. The Bahamas was amazing. We met some great people.”
Words of wisdom: The Coles credit putting God and their spouse before themselves as the key to a long-lasting marriage.
“Putting your spouse first is the foundation that keeps our family together,” he said. “If it’s not working out with you and your spouse, then the kids are going to be affected by that. I always want to make sure that I’m being intentional about a lot of things.”
Jalentha says that balance is also important.
“We’re making sure that we’re giving our best, but also forgiving,” she said. “Some people say love and marriage are 50-50. Some days, I have 20, and James has to pick up 80.”
They also check in with each other.
“You do that at a job, right?” James said. “You’re constantly getting feedback. Why not do that with somebody you plan on spending the rest of your life with to make sure everything is where it needs to be?”
Happily ever after: The Coles have three children: a 14-year-old, an 8-year-old and a 3-year-old. James is an oncology sales executive at Johnson & Johnson. Jalentha is the CEO of their home.
“You Had Me at Hello’’ highlights married couples and the love that binds them. If you would like to be considered for a future “Hello’’ column, or know someone, please send nominations to editor@birminghamtimes.com. Include the couple’s name, contact number(s) and what makes their love story unique.
