Finding Love in the Magic City: ‘Real Love is Built Through Communication’

Second of Three Parts

By Nicole Sade’ Daniel | For The Birmingham Times

Like many Birmingham singles, Matthew Covington, 39, and Tierra Virden, 34, experienced the highs and lows of dating before finding each other.

The two first met unexpectedly while Virden was attending Jacksonville State University. The couple, who were engaged at the time of this interview and recently exchanged vows, crossed paths at a Greek organization event in Birmingham that neither of them had originally planned to attend. A last-minute decision led to a chance introduction through Covington’s brother — an encounter that would eventually grow into the relationship they share today.

Virden said there were times when it felt difficult to find someone whose values and intentions aligned with hers, but those experiences ultimately helped her identify what she wanted and what she didn’t.

When asked to describe Birmingham’s dating scene, Virden chose three words: “small, evolving, but hopeful.”

Covington believes one of the biggest challenges facing singles today is finding people who are intentional, genuine, and consistent.

“Many are faced with the fears of meeting not only the ‘right’ person but the ‘real’ person. In a time where exposure is running rampant, the fear of committing to a façade and wasting time only to be embarrassed is a pretty big risk for anyone,” Covington said.

He encourages singles to slow down and resist making decisions based solely on chemistry or first impressions.

“This is a microwave society where many tend to rush into things blindly simply because of the vibes. Be sincere and be patient. Really get to know who or what you’re stepping into a situation with,” Covington said.

Although both admitted there were moments when they questioned whether they would find lasting love, Covington said learning to look beyond perfection kept him hopeful.

“So many times, you lose sight of the goal because of red flags and little personal ticks that you abandon things abruptly. I’m not saying settle for whatever, but don’t miss the bigger picture obsessing over minor differences,” he added.

For Virden, finding the right partner meant finding someone who shared her values.

“I wanted someone who loved God, was consistent, had integrity, and was ambitious. I wanted a true partner, someone who was emotionally mature, supportive, and committed to building a life together. In Matt, I found someone who shared those values and genuinely wanted the same kind of future,” Virden said.

Intentional Dating

When asked what intentional dating means, Covington offered a straightforward answer.

“State your purpose and stick to it,” he said. “Everyone won’t agree, and that doesn’t mean all hope is lost; they just might not be the one for you. As long as we can honestly say what we’re looking for up front, we cut confusion, so no one is misled.”

As for where singles should go to meet someone, Covington doesn’t believe there’s a perfect location.

“There is no set place to find ‘the one,’” he said. “Go to places that resonate with you and what you like. That increases the chances of running into like-minded people.”

Virden offered encouragement to anyone feeling discouraged by today’s dating culture.

“Don’t let one bad experience make you cynical. Stay open, know your standards, and don’t rush something just because you’re tired of waiting. Focus on becoming the kind of person you’re hoping to meet.”

When asked what people often misunderstand about modern dating, Virden said social media has created unrealistic expectations.

“People often think there are endless options, so they keep looking for perfection instead of recognizing compatibility,” she said. “Real love is built through communication, commitment, friendship, and choosing each other every day.”

Finally, when asked what she would say to someone who believes there are no good men or women left in Birmingham, Virden didn’t hesitate.

“Good men and good women still exist,” she said. “Don’t let past experiences convince you that something beautiful isn’t possible. Stay hopeful, stay open, and don’t settle. Sometimes love finds you when you least expect it.”

Their story serves as a reminder that while Birmingham’s dating scene may be complex, meaningful relationships are still being built every day.

Nicole Sade’ Daniel is an award-winning journalist, author, educator, and advocate for meaningful conversations around relationships and personal growth. Drawing from her background in communications and psychology, she explores modern dating, love, healing, and the experiences that shape how we connect with others. Learn more at nicolesade.com.