THE GAMBIAN LOVE AFFAIR: CANDIDATE AND VOTER – A FUNNY BUT TRUE STORY

By Baboucarr Mboge

Gambian politics is not politics. It is a bad relationship. A love affair between a lying boyfriend (Candidate) and a desperate girlfriend (Voter).

Let me explain.

THE ROLES – WHO IS WHO IN THIS DRAMA

The Voter – The Girlfriend:

She is beautiful, jobless, hungry, but hopeful. Her name is Gambian People. Every 5 years she believes “this time he will change.” She cooks, cleans, votes, waits. She knows her boyfriend has cheated before, stolen her money, lied to her, but she forgives because he brings small gift at election: bag of rice, D500, T-shirt.

Her role? She is supposed to be the boss. She hires the candidate. She can fire him. But in our drama, she forgets she is boss and acts like beggar. She says “Please help me sir” to a man who is supposed to say “Please hire me madam.”

The Candidate – The Boyfriend:

He is sweet mouth, well-dressed, with borrowed car and borrowed English. During campaign he is humble. He kneels to greet old women, carries baby on back, drinks attaya at “vous”, says “I love Gambia, I love you my people.”

His real role? According to Constitution Section 1, he is supposed to be SERVANT. To serve, to protect Constitution, to manage money honestly.

But after election, his real role becomes CEO of his family business called “My Tenure.” He forgets girlfriend.

THE COURTSHIP – HOW HE LIES TO WIN HER

Stage 1: *The Lie*

“When I win, I will give free education, free health, I will build factory for youths, I will bring back all money stolen.” He says this even though he knows budget is D30 Billion and debt is D120 Billion. But he says it because girlfriend likes sweet words.

Stage 2: The Bribe – The Love Money

He does not call it bribe. He calls it “Kolanut”, “Support”, “sheep for Tobaski.” D500, D1000, bag of rice, 20 liter oil. Voter knows it is bribe, candidate knows it is bribe, but both call it love. “He loves us, he gave us rice.” No, he invested D500 to steal D50,000 later. That is not love, that is business.

In 2021, reports showed some constituencies, vote buying price was D1,500 per vote. That means your future for 5 years = D1,500. Cheaper than Brazilian hair.

Stage 3: *The Criss-Cross – The Prostitute Dance*

This is funniest part in Gambia. Our candidate loves country so much that he loves ALL parties.

Today he is in UDP, tomorrow NPP, next week PDOIS, next month Independent. Same person, same suit, different party scarf.

Why? He says “I am doing it for love of country. I want to develop Gambia.” No, brother, you are doing it for love of position. Where there is position, there you go.

We call it “Political Prostitution.” But we should call it “Political Business Strategy.” If party A loses, you already in party B. You never lose.

Voter sees this criss-cross and still claps. “He is mature politician, he works with everyone.” No, he has no principle. He is like man who loves every woman in the street and says “I love all of you because I love love.”

WHAT SHOULD WE LOOK FOR TO ELECT A LEADER – THE MORAL COMPASS TEST

Stop looking at car, suit, English, tribe. Look at this:

1. His House Before Politics vs After Politics:

If before politics his house was one bedroom in Sukuta, after 2 years as MP his house is 3 storey in Bijilo with 4 cars, thief. Don’t elect thief again.

Good leader’s house stays same.

2. Does He Show Up When There Is No Camera?

Campaign time he visits all funerals, all namings. After election, does he visit when someone dies and GRTS not there? If no, he does not love people, he loves camera.

3. His Family Money – Does He Pay Tax?

Ask: “How did you make your money before politics?” If he cannot explain, he will steal your money to explain his money.

4. Can He Say NO to His Own Party?

Moral compass is not saying yes to everyone. Moral compass is saying “No, my party is wrong on this.” If candidate never disagrees with his party leader, even when party leader says “Let’s steal,” he is not a leader, he is a sheep.

5. Love For Country Test – The Hospital Test:

Ask candidate: “If your child is sick at 2am, where will you take him? EFSTH or abroad?” If he says abroad, he does not trust hospital he will manage. Don’t elect him. Elect man who will take child to Banjul hospital, so he will fix Banjul hospital.

LOVE FOR COUNTRY IS NOT IN MOUTH – IT IS IN STOMACH

Real love for country means you feel pain when Gambian suffers. Not when you lose election.

Fake love says: “I love Gambia” while your money is in Dakar bank account, your children school in Europe, your health check in Morocco, and you drive past Garbage in Bakoteh and say “It is council’s fault.”

Real love says: “I will put my money here, my child here, my health here, so if it fails, I fail with you.”

SOLUTIONS – HOW TO FIX THIS BAD RELATIONSHIP

1. For Voter (Girlfriend) – Stop Being Cheap:

If someone gives you D500 for vote, collect it, but vote for who you want. It is your right. Better, reject D500 and say “My vote is D100,000 – price of my child’s 5 years education.” When voters become expensive, candidates will stop bribing.

2. Marriage Contract – Recall Law:

Gambia needs law: If MP crosses party after election without resigning and going back to voters, seat becomes vacant. You cannot marry UDP and run to NPP bedroom. Stay or leave.

3. Boyfriend Salary Transparency:

Every candidate must publish assets BEFORE election and AFTER every year. House, cars, bank. On website. So we can see if he is growing from our money.

4. Stop Loving Party, Love Principle:

Don’t vote for party. Vote for person with moral compass. UDP, NPP, PDOIS are just names. A thief in UDP is still thief in NPP. A good man in GDC is still good man as Independent.

*5. The Ultimate Solution – Breakup With Bad Boyfriend:*

In 2026, voters must learn to breakup. If boyfriend beats you for 5 years, you don’t give him another 5 years because he bought you rice. You leave him.

Gambia is beautiful girlfriend who keeps dating same type of lying boyfriend because he has nice car.

Until she says “I deserve better than D500 and fake Gucci promise,” she will keep crying every December when rice price goes up.

Election is not love letter. It is job interview. You are HR. Candidate is applicant. Ask hard questions. Check his CV. Check his moral compass.

If he fails, don’t hire him because he is your tribe or he gave you T-shirt.

Hire man who loves Gambia enough to die poor for it, not man who loves Gambia enough to make you poor for him.

The post THE GAMBIAN LOVE AFFAIR: CANDIDATE AND VOTER – A FUNNY BUT TRUE STORY appeared first on Daily Observer Gambia .