Op-Ed: Has K. Michelle Outgrown Reality TV?

K. Michelle is uncomfortable on Real Housewives of Atlanta, and it shows.

It’s also something she’s verbalized, telling the ladies she doesn’t “feel safe,” shedding tears about someone allegedly plotting to bring drama from her past to the present, and expressing confusion and disdain for the way the women treat one another. On camera, she most recently called someone a “lowdown dirty motherf–ker,” and shared subliminal messages on social media, but she wouldn’t express it directly to them. (We would later find out her ire was toward Drew Sidora, Porsha Williams and Phaedra Parks.)

As confused as the cast is about the cause of her upset, I’m just as confused by how out of sorts she seems to be with this cast. The show and network may have changed, but we’re still in Atlanta, right?

K was undoubtedly the star who helped propel Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta into pop culture notoriety, catapulting her own then-burgeoning music career after starring in the first two seasons and returning for the fifth. She seemingly dealt with a lot worse on that series, confronting people who tried to deny trauma that she experienced, holding her own while delivering lines that would become classic (“Wheeeeeew! She’s shaking the table!” and “Tell Kirk and his three earrings I said hello” are just a couple). She also jumped to the New York franchise, as well as the short-lived Hollywood franchise, and never seemed out of place.

The Memphis native has also stepped out of R&B and returned to her roots in country, facing the lack of open arms that the genre’s gatekeepers are known for. She overcame the medical trials of having extensive surgeries to remove silicone injections that were causing health complications. She’s verbally tussled with the best of them and held her own, making it clear that she’s not someone you can bring down. So what’s happening with Real Housewives that has us seeing a completely different side of her?

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Perhaps a couple of important things. For one, the singer has seemingly allowed some online commentary to hamper how she presents herself on the show. There were commenters who had plenty to say about her possibly bringing the K. Michelle people knew from Love and Hip Hop to RHOA, and some, like Real Housewives of Potomac‘s Robyn Dixon, voiced shock at a star from a completely different series joining the Real Housewives universe (“Atlanta is running out of people,” she specifically said). And so, she’s seemed like a peacemaker at times, genuinely concerned and confused about the verbal sparring of her co-stars, along with their ability to shake it off quickly in the name of fun. And then she’s been distant and tearful in other moments. K, herself, also said, while on stage recently, that she has been “very well behaved. I have behaved. I am trying not to ‘declass’ the show, but I’m down to my wits’ end. I’m ready to get activated.”

She added, “They try to humble us. I’ve tried to be humble, but sometimes you’ve got to talk your sh-t.”

But another important aspect of things is that she’s genuinely changed. Motherhood, getting married, trying to push your career against the odds, and overcoming a long-term health crisis will make anyone change. She did it for years, that is, verbally and physically going up against reality TV heavyweights. But as people attempt to heal from what’s been thrown their way, the desire to prioritize peace over conflict increases. So the disappointment that can come from feeling like you’re being pushed toward discord when you’re trying to be better can be just as great.

Again, she’s said it herself.

“People keep playing with me,” she said on last night’s episode. “Then when I get to cursing, then, oh, K would be crazy. Leave me be because it keeps building up and when it gets to where it needs to, I’m going to cuss them all the f–k out.”

The only problem is this show, and Real Housewives as a whole, thrives off of people squabbling, but being able to turn around and make nice to co-exist at events, lunches, and girls’ trips. That has not been her experience (she was just singing “Rasheeda Got Bags” earlier this year, so K isn’t with a quick kumbaya). And so it seems she’s taking things to heart in a way that she hasn’t publicly done before. That, along with the women being divided into two groups, has left the season feeling a bit heavy. The digs have been strong, the complaints have been loud, and too many conversations are happening off-camera and online.

I’ve always found K to be good television, and maybe things will turn around mid-season, but right now, it just feels like she’s outgrown this experience. But instead of that growth allowing things to roll off her back, or her being quick with her comebacks as she’s always shown, she’s been left in an unexpected emotional state that’s difficult to follow. This isn’t traditional ladies who lunch. This is a circle of women who are quick with their wit, and sharp with their tongues. So being sensitive (think K Michelle Real Housewives of Atlanta

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